In 2015, in a period of 6 months, I lost my mum, met my soul partner, moved continents, was diagnosed with cancer and had all my worldly possessions thrown away by my father. This huge life change felt like a death, like the old me was dying and I was in a gateway, where I might actually die of cancer or if I survived, I would be reborn.
It was at this period when thanks to my husband Florian, who is a holistic psychiatrist, I discovered the work of Carl Jung and people like Marion Woodman. She is my favorite teacher, writer, wise woman, who took Jungian concepts into the realm of the feminine.
Finding my twin flame also provided for the first time in my life, a safe space where all of myself was welcome for this healing journey.
With the help of aromas, journaling, affirmations, Jungian depth psychology, psychedelics, a twin flame relationship, the desert…I found a way to navigate the journey to healing and rebirth. It was a question of life or death. I used the alchemical stages that the psyche goes through constantly, but we are often unaware of as the framework. I mapped my journey, and this is what became the basis for the Alchemy of Menopause program.
With a fine-tooth comb, I went through every moment of my life, reliving it, seeing things with a new perspective, fully feeling, discovering my ancestral story, my allies, working with my shadow, journeying, using ritual and ceremony. It took me five whole years until I got to a place where finally for the first time in my life, I felt fully anchored and that I belonged to myself. Being in my body, hearing my own voice, relating to others, my soul’s purpose all took on a new felt meaning.
I had used the tools that resonated for me and woven my own healing story through my life. I couldn’t have done it without my ancestors. I believe that this whole death and rebirth happened in 2015 because when I was born, my mother looked me in the eyes and recognized deep within my soul the existence of ancestors she had spent her life denying. Here they were staring up at her through the eyes of her newborn child. My soul frightened her, reminded her viscerally of what she had run away from, shut the door of consciousness on.
From that moment on she was never able to look me honestly in the eyes. For her own survival, she ignored who I really was, a reminder of her mother line’s true origins. She carefully tried to glue onto me her desires of what her only child should be like. Anything that rose from my soul was instantly told through a look, a gesture or a word, ‘No, this is not acceptable’. I quickly learnt that the real me was not welcome here.
The day my mum died, my relationship with Florian grew closer and everything began to change. The death of the old self was the death of the false self that my mum had unconsciously through her own wounded self, asked me to carry to save her from facing herself. It died with her; it could not survive without her as she was the only person that kept it alive. It died with the diagnosis of cervical cancer, it died because it was the prison door my mom created to keep me from my birthright, the mother line.
The mother line is the thread that connects us to our people, our roots, our clan, our vital life force – my journey was to reconnect with it. It was a beautiful, intensely healing and powerful journey that gifted me the unbreakable connection with my people, my clan and my force. It is this journey that is at the heart of our, Ancestral Healing class.
All my work is based on my own journey as a wounded healer. I coach and teach from a place of experience. I am totally familiar with navigating the unconscious realms, the ancestral realms, the plant and animal realms. Let me be your guide.